Unrestrained Passion
by A Romantic Enquiry
Summary: Never had a week, such an insignificant amount of time for a vampire, felt so long to Edward Cullen. His return to the house, though inevitable, might just spark even more trouble for not only him and Esme, but the rest of their family as well. This is the sequel to Restrained Passion. (A collaboration with DragonGirl323)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note** (DragonGirl323): At long last, more Edward/Esme goodness! Sorry for the extended delay everyone. This first chapter gave me weeks and weeks of grief, but I beat the sucker into submission and pumped out some excellence. I hope everyone enjoys it! We've got some great stuff in store for all of you! Thank you for the continued support. Crys and I appreciate it so much, you have no idea.

**Author's note** (A Romantic Enquiry): This story was written in the same style as the first installment, Restrained Passion. If you haven't read that, I recommend you start with it so you understand what is going on. You can find the link on my profile page. Jenna and I RPed the dialogue together, and the chapters alternate between Edward's and Esme's points of view. Edward's chapters were expanded and edited by Jenna, and I did the same for Esme's chapters. We came up with this story based on a Twilight roleplay that we were both members of; therefore, the storyline was AU to begin with, omitting the events of Breaking Dawn. Also, as Jenna said, thank you for reading our story!

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One week. Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours. One thousand, one hundred and seventy-six minutes. Eight thousand, two hundred and thirty-two seconds.

That was the amount of time I had spent away from the house and, more specifically, from Esme. Even then, as I trudged through the forest, my clothes and hair dripping wet, I still wasn't sure if returning was the best idea. In the back of my mind, though, I knew that I was only delaying the inevitable. I didn't need to speak with Alice to know that continuing to avoid the problem would only make it worse and exceedingly awkward for the both of us. To be brutally honest, part of the reason why I didn't want to go back was because I enjoyed listening to her thoughts way more than I should. No matter how long I spent thinking about Bella, my hopes of that need to be back with Esme, that unrestrained desire, fading from my mind as time passed was inexplicably destroyed and I felt myself being pulled back to the Cullen house like a moth drawn to the flame.

I pressed my lips together as the familiar structure came into view ahead, my already slow pace diminishing even further to the point that, had I been human, it would seem like I was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other, which couldn't have been any farther from the truth. I had turned avoidance into an art form over the course of my existence, something I wasn't proud of, and the fact that I'd honestly considered not returning at all was shameful.

I heard her thoughts before I saw her, the intensity of them slapping me in the face violently, and my head snapped to the right as if I'd actually been struck. I pressed my lips together and shifted my gaze back to the house, spotting her immediately from where she was standing in front of the living room window. I nearly stopped in my tracks at the sight of her, but steeled myself, forcing my legs to continue carrying me forward. I exhaled sharply when she turned away, retreating farther into the house so she could avoid me easier if I chose to come in through the front door, and my jaw clenched reflexively when I heard how surprised she was over seeing me.

_So, she didn't even expect me to return…_ I thought solemnly, making my way around the side of the house to my room. I supposed I deserved that, though. After all, I left moments after Carlisle returned home and all without saying a word or providing an explanation as to why. She deserved so much more than that. She deserved an explanation, and I hadn't even retained enough integrity to give it to her.

I called myself a gentleman, but after acting so infantile I wasn't so sure I had that right anymore.

I jumped up into my room and immediately began stripping my damp clothes off my body, trying not to read her thoughts just as she was attempting to ignore my presence. As she shut herself inside her office, she began wondering how much longer we could live in the same house and not have to face one another, and I couldn't help but agree with her. I shook my head violently to get all the water out of my hair as well as rid my head of her thoughts and my face soured slightly as I buttoned up a dry shirt, already knowing something like that wouldn't work. I bunched my hands in my hair in frustration and began pacing the length of my room, the sharp clicking of her heels echoing loudly through the otherwise quiet house made me grind my teeth in irritation.

I paused by the window and laced my fingers behind my head, thinking that returning wasn't such a wise decision after all. I'd thought that perhaps I could set the record straight. Tell her that our encounter, as passionate as it had been, was nothing but a mistake that could tear our family apart. Even though I would never be able to look at her the same way again, I wouldn't do something so selfish. I wouldn't destroy my creator's life and I certainly wouldn't destroy Bella's.

_And perhaps,_ my mind whispered to me. _You're only fooling yourself. The damage has already been done._

Had it really, though? Was there no way for this to be fixed, be forgotten about? Or were we already past the point of no return?

The sudden sensation of feeling trapped slithered through my mind and my instincts flared without warning, screaming at me to get out, to flee. I crouched, ready to blast right through the glass separating me from the forest, then quickly realized that it was Esme's sense of isolation that I was feeding off of and straightened, the tension immediately seeping out of me. I glared angrily at my door like it was the culprit responsible for keeping me held in this space for so long and shook my head slowly, refusing to be a party to willingly trapping myself. It was ludicrous and there was no way I was going to put up with it. I may be forced to hear her thoughts, but there was no law that said I had to speak with her.

I paused and took a deep, calming breath, not intending to direct the irrational anger I was feeling toward Esme. I flexed my hands at my sides, my eyes still locked on the door, and strode out of my room with purpose, heading down stairs and going immediately to my piano. I tried to ignore her thoughts as I sat down on the bench and uncovered the pristine white and black keys, but they oozed into my head with a silky smoothness that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Deep down, I had sincerely missed listening to the inner workings of her mind over the past week and once again being in a closer proximity to her was refreshing in a way.

As I stared down at the keys, trying to figure out what to play, the impulse of wanting to work on her interior design blog drifted through her thoughts and my hands paused, hovering mere millimeters above the keys. She needed her computer, which was sitting on the coffee table in the living room not far from where I was, and my earlier frustration drained out of my body, leaving me with an indescribable sense of longing to have her near me. My face involuntarily twisted as she considered ignoring me when she came downstairs, and I rolled my shoulders experimentally to shake the heaviness off of them, then began playing. The random series of notes that I strung together were actually much more sophisticated than they first appeared, but a majority of my concentration was centered on Esme as she made her way toward the living room.

She paused uncertainly in the entryway before looking down at her feet and starting across the room, forcing herself not to look at me. She began thinking about how much she would like to talk to me, hating the silence and tension between us since my return, and I couldn't stop my thoughts from mirroring her own. I slid my eyes closed, not needing to have them open to see her, and the nameless tune abruptly shifted to a song I know she would recognize, the soft, melancholic notes drifting toward her, seeking her out. An involuntary shudder of desire slithered down my spine as I imagined for a moment that her body – her immaculately flawless skin – was beneath my fingers in place of the piano keys and I had to forcefully swallow the groan that was fighting its way up my throat.

I focused on her mind, which helped to center my thoughts, as she came to a stop halfway across the room, pausing for a long moment and lifting a hand to curl her fingers against her lips. "Edward…" she said breathlessly, turning her head to glance at me, but thinking that it might be better if we didn't speak to one another.

My eyebrows pinched together as I listened to her reaction to my song choice, but forced the rest of my expression to remain impassive as I tilted my head to the right only just, acknowledging her presence. She fell silent as I continued to play, feeling both slightly flattered and guilty about my choice of song. Her gaze was transfixed on me, watching me carefully as she tried to figure out how to even approach starting a conversation. I knew then that I would have to be the one to extend my hand to her and break the tension that was steadily driving a wedge between us. One of the only conclusions I had come to during my absence from the house was that no matter what happened between us because of our lapse in judgment, I didn't want to lose the relationship I already had with her. Before the wonderings of whether or not things between us could ever go back to normal had the chance to bother me, I silenced them, focusing on the melody I was playing, but mainly on the woman standing not far from me.

I opened my eyes swiftly and suddenly, my gaze immediately finding hers, holding it captive as my hands moved across the keys without pause. A soft gasp escaped her parted lips, overwhelmed by a powerful rush of several different emotions: guilt, love, fear and attraction. I let myself get lost in her mind, her thoughts sinking into my skin until I could feel her essence in my bones, but also kept track of where I was in the song, waiting for the perfect moment.

"But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you," I whispered tenderly, my hands pausing on the keys, my eyes still locked on hers as the notes gradually faded away.

"We're here now," she replied just as quietly, continuing to hold my gaze.

I nodded once in agreement. "We are."

"I don't like not talking to you," she said, taking a careful step toward me.

I kept my eyes on her as I slid my hands off the keys and placed them in my lap, my throat convulsing as I swallowed. "I don't like it either."

Her legs carried her closer and she glanced down at the piano bench, wanting more than anything to sit beside me. "Do you mind if I…?" she asked, hesitantly pointing down at the seat.

I promptly scooted over, making room for her to sit down, before she even finished speaking.

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she closed the remaining distance between us and carefully sat down, smoothing her hands over her thighs as she stared down at the piano keys. A short stretch of silence that seemed much longer than it actually was passed between us before she spoke again. "How do we fix this, Edward?"

Glancing up and looking straight ahead, it was my turn to be silent as I considered my answer. Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with anything profound. "I don't know."

When she turned her head to look at me, I detected all of her conflicted emotions bubbling to the surface of her mind once again. "Tell me what you've been thinking," she requested, watching me carefully.

The muscles in my jaw clenched as I propped my elbows on the piano keys, the harsh cacophony of notes slicing through the air, and fisted my hands in front of my mouth. "I'm not entirely convinced that what I'm thinking will fix anything. It's only liable to make things worse."

"Like my thoughts?" she murmured, reaching over and lightly touching my arm to urge my elbows off the piano.

My eyes slid shut when she touched me and I leaned back slightly, bringing my hands down to slide the cover over the piano keys. I glanced over at her and exhaled slowly out my nose. "No," I replied, my lips parted as I considered saying more, but I stopped myself and turned my head away again.

"Please talk to me, Edward," she said, placing her hand lightly on my shoulder. "I can't stand not knowing how you feel."

I pressed my lips together and lifted a hand to rub my forehead. "What I feel…" I began, sighing heavily. "I'm betraying my creator and Bella with what I feel."

Esme drew her bottom lip into her mouth, biting down on it as she watched me, her hand still poised on my shoulder. "I know," she whispered, placing both hands in her lap and gazing across the room. "It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to stop. I don't think about…you on purpose. I don't want to hurt anyone."

I lifted my arms, resting my elbows against the piano once more and fisting my hands in front of my mouth. "And as much as I don't want to hurt anyone either, it just feels…right," I confessed.

She sighed sadly, looking over at me out of the corner of her eye. "We don't belong together."

My hands clenched even tighter together, the skin stretching over the bones, and I nodded stiffly. "No, we don't," I replied, grinding those words out through my teeth.

"But you are the second greatest temptation I have ever faced. I don't know why," she said, turning fully to face me finally and blinked slowly a few times. "I don't know what that means."

I looked at her as well, my gaze finding hers. "And the pure abandon I experience in your thoughts… I've never encountered anything like that before and I don't know what that means either."

"This sounds incredibly selfish, but the past week has only made me crave the escape I found in your arms more. I felt everything so purely. At the time, it wasn't complicated at all. It felt like if there had been even the slightest twist of fate long ago…" Her voice trailed off as she shook her head, pushing the rest of her thoughts away, but I had heard them. And I couldn't help but wonder about that myself.

"How are we supposed to justify something like this?" I asked, shifting the focus slightly to take my mind away from that maddening train of thought. "If there's even a way to justify it?"

"I don't think we can." She paused briefly, her thoughts scrambling. "Are you asking me… Is that a suggestion we…" she stammered uncertainly, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "What are you saying, Edward? I'm so confused."

I exhaled sharply as I dipped my head, threading my fingers into my hair. "I don't even know what I'm saying," I growled in frustration. "I've never been this conflicted before."

She was silent for a moment as she shifted her feet nervously. "Are we being petty?" she asked, glancing at me. "I would never want you to feel that I was…using you." She turned away then, looking over her opposite shoulder. "You made me feel something I have never felt before, but that doesn't make it right or justifiable. I can't ever pretend it never happened," she said, still not looking at me. "I love you. I always have. I love Carlisle and Bella. I can stop myself from acting, but I can't stop myself from feeling. I feel bad for you having to listen to my thoughts.

"I don't think we are. At least, I'd like to think we aren't," I replied, turning to look at her and staring at the back of her head for a moment before reaching over to tentatively take her hand. "I don't want you to feel that way either. Please don't feel bad, though. I…I love listening to your thoughts."

She inhaled sharply at my last comment, squeezing my hand slightly, and turning to face me slowly, her lips parting. "You do?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes," I answered, nodding once and pausing briefly. "I think I might have even become addicted to it."

"I thought maybe you were angry at me earlier, when you left," she said, averting her gaze from mine and glancing at the piano.

"No, I wasn't angry. Far from it," I reassured her, taking a breath I didn't necessarily need. "It took every sliver of my self control to refrain from doing something that would expose us. Leaving was the only option."

She slowly scooted closer to me until our legs were touching. "I meant it all," she said, licking her lips. "I couldn't help myself really."

My eyes fixated on her mouth and I instinctively leaned closer to her, feeling as though a magnetic pull was drawing us toward each other. "I know," I replied, my voice low. "You drove me absolutely mad."

She lifted her hand and curled her fingers under my chin, leaning closer to me as well. "Is that so? You like me being so addicted to you?"

My lips tugged up slightly at the corners as my mouth crept toward hers. "It's intoxicating."

Her lips parted as we stared into each other's eyes and I heard the soft whisperings of her desire to kiss me, but she didn't move, blinking up at me instead. I gradually bridged the miniscule gap between us and brushed our lips together with the softest of touches, my free hand snaking around to cup the back of her neck.

As soon as our lips touched, though, she pulled back gently. "You probably don't want to kiss me right now. Carlisle… I'm sorry," she whispered, pressing her fingertips against her lips.

I remained motionless, my gaze drifting down to rest on her fingers for a few brief seconds, before lifting once more. Nearly a full thirty seconds had gone by while I remained silent and motionless, the only thought that was continually cycling through my mind was how much I wanted to taste her again, before I threw caution to the wind and kissed her fully.

She sucked in a short, startled breath through her nose, but completely surrendered to the kiss, moving cautiously at first before returning the gesture with equal passion. She laughed lightly when we finally parted. "Shame on you, Edward," she scolded playfully, running her finger across my bottom lip and smiling coyly.

I arched an eyebrow at her, grinning. "Shame on me? What about you?"

She was silent for a few moments as she stared at my mouth, her smile slowly widening as our kiss replayed through her mind. "You don't taste like anyone else," she said, taking my hand and slowly standing up. "Maybe I should go freshen up a bit." She slid her fingers along mine before letting go of my hand. "You'll wait for me?"

I chuckled as I watched her rise and nodded with a small smile. "Of course I will."

"Think about me while I'm gone," she murmured, turning to go upstairs and taking her time as she sauntered out of the room.

"How could I not?" I mumbled back to her as my hands drifted to the piano, folded the cover back and splayed my fingers over the keys, my eyes locked on her form.

She hummed softly in reply, and – before she had even reached the top of the stairs – she began meticulously shedding her clothing, a faint undercurrent of invitation drifting through her mind. I groaned deeply and shut my eyes, as if that would block the images pouring into my head, then began playing a soft, slow melody to help keep my mind occupied.

But that didn't work. Not at all. The majority of my attention was centered solely on her and nothing short of the apocalypse would be able to wrench my focus from her.

From where I was sitting I could hear the material of her blouse brush against her skin as she lifted it over her head and I suddenly imagined myself carefully unclasping her bra, sliding the straps off of her shoulders and dragging my mouth over her skin. I longed to taste her skin again. It had been a week, an excruciatingly long week, since the first time I had kissed her and I craved it, ached for it.

Without meaning to, I had accelerated the tempo of the song I was playing as I was following her thoughts, my fingers flying over the keys with inhuman speed. I swallowed the venom that had begun to pool beneath my tongue, my throat convulsing tightly, and after a few moments of conflicted consideration, I got up and strode upstairs after her before I had the chance to over think it.

I wanted her. Badly. And I _needed_ to indulge further. I couldn't deny it any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note** (DragonGirl323): First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed! I'm so, so happy that all of you enjoyed it! I hope you're ready for a fabulous chapter full of sweet lovin' because Crys did an absolutely spectacular job. And a friendly reminder! If you aren't 18, you shouldn't be reading this. Anyways, send a review our way when you're finished and let us know how we did. As for me, I need to finish writing chapter 3. *scurries off*

**Author's note** (A Romantic Enquiry): I want to especially thank my co-writer Jenna for this chapter! In Restrained Passion, we took turns writing the sex scenes and helped each other edit for our characters from there. We decided to RP them for this installment though. This is the first sex scene I've ever successfully RPed! Jenna was very patient and gentle while I was being very nervous about it! I hope everyone is as satisfied with the result. As always, thank you for reading!

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I paced myself as I walked upstairs, starting to shed my clothes as I approached the bedroom door. I started with my shoes, reaching down to carefully tug them off, dropping them just inside the doorway. I undid the button of my skirt, smiling as I the heard the notes filtering up through the floorboards. Sliding my skirt down over my hips, I stepped out of it, my mind wandering with a vision of Edward's gracile fingers sliding across the keys. I felt a tremor pass through me as I tugged the silken fabric of my blouse over my head, my hair slipping back down around my bare shoulders, and I couldn't help but envision his hands, lithe and strong, running across my skin.

I dropped my shirt onto the floor in the bathroom doorway with a sigh, knowing that he could hear my thoughts as clearly as I could hear the song he was playing, the notes coming more rapidly. I wondered if he was trying to drown me out and I smiled to myself, reaching behind my back with both hands to unhook the clips of my bra, thinking about how he had slipped his hand up my spine, popping the hooks loose with one quick movement. I bent forward, letting it fall down my arms as I tugged my panties down, kicking them off at the shower door.

I turned the water on warm and stepped under it, lips parted, eyes closed, brushing my hair back. Edward had looked gorgeous with his damp hair, and I wondered where he had been before he came back to the house. I had watched him walking across the yard with a look of determination on his features, clothes dripping wet, shirt clinging to his chest, soaked jeans dragged down low on his hips. I had to go all but lock myself in my room to stop from meeting him at the door, wanting to peel the wet garments off his skin and drop to my knees before him in the foyer.

The music had stopped I noted, and I smiled wickedly, turning away from the shower door, shifting my hips, allowing my fantasy to carry on: Edward lifting me up by the hips onto the decorative table inside the door and taking me madly, coming hard inside of me while I screamed his name. I wanted him inside of me again so badly that I was desperately uncomfortable with desire. I considered moving to relieve myself of my lust until I heard him come upstairs and into the room. I waited, allowing the tingle of my thoughts to filter through my body before I turned around to face the shower doors, eyes still closed, hands sliding down over my breasts, slipping around the curves of my hips.

When I finally opened my eyes, I watched him for a moment, biting my lip. One of his eyebrows twitched slightly, but his stare was dangerous and predatory. It felt like my cold body would melt right under his gaze as it traveled over me, sliding like the heated drops of water rolling down my skin. He looked like a starving vampire—his eyes dark and frenzied.

"Edward," I demanded, forcing my voice to stay low and steady. "Come here."

He set his jaw and pulled the glass door open even as I spoke, stalking into the shower with all of his clothes on, not even bothering to close the door behind him. He reached down and grabbed my wrists, never breaking eye contact as he brought them up by my head against the tile, pinning me to the shower wall. I looked up at him, feeling close to weak trapped between the sturdy wall and his solid body. I shivered with desire looking into his lust-filled eyes.

"Yes, Esme?" he asked softly.

I curled my hands into fists, my nails pressing into my palms. I arched my back, pushing myself into him more. His wet clothes were a terrible distraction; I wanted his beautiful, naked body against mine. I licked my lips, still staring at him, allowing my unspoken desires to linger between us.

"Kiss me." It was an order, and I parted my lips in invitation.

It seemed to take so long, as if time slowed down, and I felt the heavy drag of eternity waiting for his lips to meet mine. It had been a week since we had first kissed, seven long, anguished filled days of wondering not only if I would ever be in his arms again, ever feel his lips against mine, but if I'd ever even see him again. I had tried desperately to put things on the mend. I had tried to forget about this, tried to be careful and patient and attentive with my marriage, but, despite my inner scolding voice, every time Carlisle touched me, it had only made me long for Edward.

Finally, he set my hands free, and I let them fall down by my sides, pressing my palms against the tile as his lips brushed mine softly, barely touching them. My eyelids fell shut as I savored the feel of his silky wet lips sliding across mine, and my bottom lip quivered in anticipation. I brought my arms up, propping my elbows on his shoulders.

"More," I whispered, "I want more."

I enjoyed giving him orders as much as I enjoyed him obeying them. I liked relishing in my thoughts, knowing he caught every single one of them. It was liberating that I didn't have to tell him what I wanted but that he liked when I did. And his teasing hesitation to comply was thrilling. I was imagining him ravishing me with his mouth, trailing kisses down my neck, his lips open, licking and sucking on my skin, grazing it with his teeth, and I shifted. I had never craved someone with such shear lasciviousness.

His hands came up by my waist to brace himself against the wall. He kissed me gently again before his mouth moved across my jaw, slipping down my neck and across my left collarbone, his lips pressing firmly against the tender skin at the rise of my breast before moving up across my right collarbone. My breathing became shallow as if I was human, my hands sliding down his arms, and I slipped them around his waist and pulled him into me roughly.

"You are a tease," I complained.

He chuckled softly in reply, drawing my ear lobe into his mouth, nipping at it lightly with his teeth, causing pleasure to pierce through me.

"I could say the same thing to you," he said, barely breathing the words into my ear before grinding his arousal against me, a low growl rising out of his chest.

I pressed my fingertips into his back, holding him to me, thinking about how it felt to have him pounding into me, and my whole body tensed with yearning for it. Grabbing both sides of his soaked collar, I ripped his shirt open, the buttons scattering across the shower floor. I heard one rattle down the drain as I jerked the cloth over his shoulders, tearing it more. He reached up and pealed it the rest of the way off, freeing his arms before tossing it to the floor.

"I wasn't teasing," I answered, grazing my nails down his chest, kissing him lightly before sucking his bottom lip between my teeth. Then, I pulled back to look up into his eyes again. "That was an invitation."

He grinned at me, staring deep into my eyes as he removed the rest of his clothing, kicking the garments aside before lifting me up as if I was weightless in his hands. Pressing his upper body against mine, pinning me to the wall once again, he guided my legs around his waist. I locked my ankles at the small of his back, physically trembling with arousal now. Edward had a firm hold on my hips, purposely keeping our bodies from joining fully, his lips brushing mine as he spoke.

"And that is an invitation I'm happy to accept," he said, his voice sensual and deep. His lips met mine the instant he entered me, pushing himself to the hilt on the first thrust, making me gasp audibly and breaking our lips apart.

My legs trembled around his waist as he took me hard and fast, holding back just enough to keep from shattering the wall behind us, making me cry out helplessly. I tipped my head back, panting on instinct, drawing his scent in. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to steady myself. I felt an incomparable, almost suffocating passion for him. Our bodies fit together as if we were two interlocking puzzle pieces. It wasn't just that though: I felt somehow more myself than I ever had with him inside of me—as if he was some lost part of myself. I pressed my upper arms down onto his shoulders to steady myself, my fingers tangled in his wet hair, holding onto him in fear. How was I going to stop myself from falling in love?

"I love it when you take me hard like that," I said in a low voice against his ear. Perhaps it would help if I pretended it wasn't him that I loved but just that I just loved this. I knew he was inside of my head, hearing my inner conflict, knowing I was fighting my emotion.

Edward growled deep in this throat in reply. "Oh?" he asked, taking me roughly now. "And I love the way your voice sounds while I'm taking you hard." He grunted as he spoke, a very primal, hungry noise, the pace of his thrusts quickening. Of course, he fought alongside me because, really, what else could we do?

I tugged on his hair, trying not to scream in delight. "I've been so desperate for you," I confessed, my voice sounding pained. When our gazes met, a cry of pleasure was forced from my lips, and my eyes instantly rolled back, my eyelashes fluttering as my body tightened around his. I could hardly speak, but I forced the words out between sighs and moans. "You're going to make me come already."

He stopped moving, his body frozen, buried deep inside of me, exhaling through clenched teeth. "God. . . Esme. . ." he whispered, his voice deep and husky. There was an almost maddened look in his eyes. His hands gripped my hips tightly, fingers digging into my flesh, holding me still. It would have left painful bruises, at the very least, on human skin.

I squirmed in his grasp, biting my lip. Part of me wanted to savor the feeling of him inside of me, and I tried not to move. Yet, it made me feel so tender and vulnerable. I couldn't help but be aware of nothing else except how we were locked together: my legs spread open wide for him while he was shoved fully in me, and, though I felt very aroused, my vampire flesh had little give and sheathed him tightly. Something like a throbbing ache pulsed up between my thighs, reverberating deep inside my body and ending in an abrupt tensing in the cradle of my hips—the suggestion of a powerful orgasm about to take me over, making my body feel almost alive. The tension didn't release, it only kept coiling up tighter and tighter.

I allowed my eyes to fall closed, raking my nails across his shoulders, desperate for some kind of action or reaction from him. I was going to lose my control completely, in a way that almost frightened me with its warnings. I wanted him to come with me so badly. I lost all awareness that he could hear my every thought. I lost all sense of everything.

"Oh, Edward. . . what are you doing to me? This is. . ." My words cut off as the tension snapped very suddenly, and I tipped my head back.

Edward rode my orgasm, and it drove me into a blind ecstasy. Reaching up to coil his fingers in my wet hair, he held me gently against him like some delicate thing, his thrusts slow and sensual now. For a moment, I couldn't cry out or even think; I just clung to him as he rocked inside me, my body desperately working on instinct to try to make him come. His head lolled back, his eyes rolling back, a deep growl tearing up his throat.

The sound made me gasp, and I felt my pleasure mounting slowly and steadily again already. I couldn't stop myself from moaning over and over—a mixed result of the physical sensations and my now maddening thoughts. I was losing my mind to this rapture, and I wanted him with me; I wanted nothing more than to be the one who gave him a kind of ecstasy he's never felt before.

He buried his face against my neck, kissing my skin with open lips, and, as he took me harder, I moaned his name. Even while he pounded into me, I just wanted to scream for more, but when I slammed against the wall, an undercurrent of worry rose up.

"Be careful," I whispered against his ear. "I just fixed this wall." There would be no explaining that, I thought. I pressed my lips to his cheek then smiled, sliding my lips over his before kissing him deeply, gently exploring his mouth with my tongue.

Edward pulled back, giving me a lopsided half-grin. "I'll try my hardest," he assured me before eagerly kissing me back, curling our tongues together, gyrating his hips gently, groaning as he did.

I smiled back when our lips parted. "Get on the floor," I ordered playfully as soon as the idea struck me.

His grin widened, his darkened gaze flashing, and he nodded once as he backed away from the wall with me still in his arms, moving us directly under the stream of heated water.

"Your wish is my command," he said seriously, kneeling on the shower floor. Then, he slid his arms beneath mine, looping them around, locking his hands on my shoulders to hold me firmly on his lap. "And what brought this on?" he asked as I settled into his embrace.

I couldn't help but groan with pleasure, twisting my hips since he had me otherwise restricted. "I like being on top, especially when you come," I said.

Even though he could just search my thoughts for the answer, I liked that he asked. The slightly dirty talk is both exciting and distracting from the constantly threatening blitz of emotion that I was trying hard to prevent. I enjoyed the sound of his voice. But also, I couldn't read his thoughts, of course, so I needed him to tell me what is going on in his mind. I reached up to run my fingers through his wet hair, pushing it back, admiring the beauty of his face, the way the water rolled over his cheekbones, slipped over the curve of his bottom lip and down his chin, dripped off of his eyelashes.

"Do you not?" I asked, wondering if that is a gentle protest or suggestion there is something else he would prefer. "Would you rather hold me down? I like that too," I offered seductively, imagining a number of other options, planting a firm kiss just beneath his lips.

His eyes slid closed as he inhaled deeply. "I love it when you're on top. Watching you is hypnotizing." His words are followed by a low growl. "You're just full of ideas, aren't you?" he asked, grinding up into me hard.

I rocked my hips gently in response, still looking into his eyes. "I want you in every way possible. Repeatedly," I replied, running my fingertips over his face, tracing his eyebrows, sliding them down the bridge of his nose and across his lips. "Tell me what you want right now. I want to give it to you."

Edward leaned into my touch, his hands running up and down my rib cage. It felt like a gesture of possession and admiration that made my skin tingle with pleasure. "I want you just as much. All of you. I want to hear you say my name."

I kissed him tenderly on the lips, rocking my hips in a slow, steady rhythm. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him in a firm, loving embrace and pressed my cheek against his, sighing his name against his ear breathlessly. Edward locked on my shoulders again, and he pulled me down onto him firmly, bucking his hips up as his frame went rigid and he groaned with pleasure, whispering my name back as he spilled into me.

Holding him tightly, I rode him hard through his pleasure, our wet skin sliding together easily. It brought me to another shattering peak quickly. I felt my entire body shudder, and I tipped my head back, still slamming my hips down onto him and cried out his name, loudly this time. Then, rather unexpectedly, the emotion possessed me as the fluttering aftershocks of orgasm took over. I sighed as I settled onto his lap, motionless with his body still inside me and pressed my face against his neck. As much as I thought I should pretend this was only physical, it wasn't: I felt so tangled up in him body, mind, and heart already and in a way that I was surprisingly unfamiliar with.

Edward sighed heavily, smoothing my hair back when I faced him again, the corners of his mouth curling up, gazing at me. "You are so beautiful."

"So are you," I replied, kissing him softly on the tip of his nose before pulling myself up slowly, drawing us apart while holding his gaze. "You make me feel so human sometimes. I get this feeling like butterflies in my stomach. My legs feel weak. They aren't really, but it's still a very convincing sensation," I confessed, smiling and holding my hand out to him. "Will you come to bed and hold me so I can look at you for a little while longer?"

He smiled up at me, sliding his hand into mine as he stood, staring into my eyes before shutting the now cold water off. "I'd love to," he said, kissing me tenderly, his lips lingering on mine before we stepped out of the shower together.

As soon as we toweled off, he pulled me up into his arms bridal style swiftly, carrying me to bed. I felt a moment of trepidation when he pulled the blankets back with one hand. Maybe this had been a bad idea. When I had made the suggestion all I had in mind was the desire to be in his arms longer. Looking at it though, I swallowed hard, knowing the fleeting images of sharing this bed with Carlisle, thoughts I really couldn't help but tried to cease quickly, filtered straight into his mind as well. It was one thing to know the fact and quite another to catch the undercurrents of feeling and intimacy from my perspective from inside my head, I was sure, not to mention the accompanying guilt and sadness that immediately followed.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, drawing my attention back to him.

I nodded in assurance the second our eyes met, knowing no amount of guilt would ever be enough to make me want to let him go when I didn't have to. Once he was lying beside of me, I curled up to him, pressing my face against his chest and wrapping the fingers of one hand around his arm as he slipped it around my waist, resting his chin on top of my head.

"You are very surprising, you know that?"

"How so?" Edward inquired curiously.

I trailed a line of light kisses across his collarbone before answering. "Your being passionate isn't so surprising really, just that you are about me, I guess. Or, at least, you do a good job of making it seem that way."

A sense of melancholy descended on me as I spoke. While we were making love, everything seemed perfect—the way we fit, the way it felt, as if we were supposed to be together. I never had been, and still couldn't be, the kind of person who just had sex with someone because it felt good. I knew it was wrong, but I knew I was falling in love with him. I knew he could hear all of my internal turmoil: he knew exactly how his attention made me feel, and he knew I didn't want just a physical relationship, that I couldn't carry on being with him like this in this house we shared with our spouses. I thought that I should know him well enough to guess, that I should be attentive enough to read it. The truth was though, I was afraid of almost all the possibilities. I needed him to say how he felt.

I felt him flinch slightly. "I don't make a common practice out of being fickle," he replied softly, running his fingers across my back.

"I didn't mean that," I said, pressing my palm against the center of his chest. "I just don't. . . it's complicated and. . ." I gave up for the moment, not sure how to say what I meant and looked up at him. "We're doing this anyway, aren't we?" I finally managed.

Edward pressed his lips together, his eyes meeting mine. When he pulled his arm away from my waist, I immediately braced myself for the inevitable answer. But he lifted his hand to drag his fingers down my cheek instead; it was a tender, loving gesture, and my eyes fell closed in relief. At that moment, I knew solidly in my silent heart what I wanted.

"I don't think I'd be able to stop now if I wanted to," he said.

"I don't want you to stop," I assured him, opening my eyes again.

I didn't know what else to say, but my thoughts took off as I reached up, twirling a strand of his hair around my finger, a smile tugging at my lips. Maybe if we could just be alone together, really alone, not in moments stolen in the spaces when no one else was home, we could understand this better. We already knew that we genuinely liked each other, that we loved each other as family and had a deep-seated bond of loyalty to one another because of that. Now, the sexual attraction was undeniable. We had played varying roles in public with each other for nearly a century, but this was a line that had never even been blurred, much less voluntarily crossed. It wasn't a promise to make lightly, that you would possibly give up your existences as you knew it. It wasn't something that could be founded merely on sexual compatibility.

Edward blinked at me a few times. I knew he must have been listening to my thoughts. He closed his eyes briefly before responding. "Then I won't."

"I want to be alone with you." I said it aloud almost immediately after he finished speaking, tracing circles on his chest with my finger.

His hand trailed down my arm, causing a mixed sensation of sensual pleasure and comfort. "That sounds quite alluring."

"It's not like anyone is ever home to miss us anyway," I noted almost bitterly. This should not be so easy to get away with. The truth was that we only were getting away with it because no one was paying enough attention to us to begin with. Of course, if they had been, I wondered if this would have ever happened and what that meant about the honesty of it. "We could go to the island."

I saw Edward's jaw slacken, eyes widening a small amount. "Isle Esme?"

I observed him carefully, tightening my grip on his arm. "Is it worse than us being here together in the bed I share with Carlisle?" I questioned frankly.

Of course, the island had been a wedding gift to me from Carlisle, and we could possibly make a more moral choice. But it also guaranteed complete isolation without having to hide in any way. Perhaps that was too good though—it was a place that made romance easy. On the other hand, if we didn't have it there, we wouldn't have it anywhere.

I could see his throat convulse as he swallowed. It took him a moment to answer. As I waited patiently, a delayed revelation occurred that he looked quite different to me now. I had always thought he was arguably the best amongst us, looks included. Now though, I was far more keenly attuned to every little detail in a new way. The almost human things, like the way that two of his lashes were crossing each other right at the center of his left eyelid, or the tiny seemingly subconscious tiny twitches of his eyebrows or the corners of his mouth while he was thinking seemed endearing. Everything vampiric about him: the faint dark circles shadowing his eyes, the striking lack of pigment of his skin, rendering even his lips pale, was carnally attractive.

_Biology._ I could almost hear Carlisle explaining this the way he had so long ago. _But that doesn't make it any less real. _And then he had kissed me—the kind of kiss that makes you believe in happily ever after. I had clung to him desperately, terrified he might ever let me go. I shut my eyes tightly for a second, scattering the memory.

"It's just as bad," Edward said finally, "but with more risk involved. We would have to come up with a believable excuse about why we'll be there together."

I listened to him carefully, telling myself I could do this better. I know Edward. We were essentially the same people we had always been. He was right, of course, but I quickly formulated a solution to this part of the problem. However, we were just plotting to delay the inevitable.

I reached up, gently running the tip of my finger over the tangled eyelashes to right them. "You want to do this." It wasn't a statement made in the hope of convincing him, and I wasn't just talking about the trip, which he knew. I slipped my fingers down across his cheek. "We can't keep any secrets. If she hasn't seen something already, at some point something we do will play into one of Alice's visions. We're courting disaster."

He nodded, capturing my hand in his and softly kissing each of my knuckles. "You're right, I do. I want to go somewhere secluded with you," he said, looking me in the eyes. "No matter the risk involved."

"There is something I need to know before we start fabricating a web of lies together," I said, my voice gravely serious.

"You want to know if I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note** (DragonGirl323): A thousand pardons for taking so long with this chapter! I had major computer issues that prevented me from writing, but all is fixed now! Also, thank you all for the feedback! Crys and I are eternally grateful for all the support and I hope everyone enjoys this newest chapter!

**Author's note **(A Romantic Enquiry): Jenna wasn't the only one with computer problems lately: mine completely died, so I had to get a new one before I could do anything. But here is our update at long last. Thank you for your patience!

* * *

"_You want to know if I love you."_

My words to her continued to echo through my mind as the sudden, but not so surprising realization that I really did love her, and not just as the family member that she paraded as, occurred to me. I knew that a small part of me should have felt ashamed about that, but I didn't. My conscience, a constant buzzing in the back of my mind, continually brought up the fact that Bella should be the one in my arms right now and that I certainly shouldn't feel so at peace when I should be anything but.

There was no doubt that I still felt extremely conflicted and ashamed over my infidelity, but what Esme said earlier was absolutely true: she was the second greatest temptation I had ever faced. In fact, she could possibly be the greatest. While Bella was human, on multiple occasions I had resisted from giving into my instincts and indulging myself in her blood. With Esme, I was powerless. There was no way that I could fight my need for her and, what was most shocking to admit to myself, I didn't want to.

Esme nodded, successfully pulling me out of my inner wonderings as I heard her thoughts before she voiced them. "We can't go on like this forever," she said, a faint undercurrent of worry passing through her mind. "I want to know if you love me, if you think you love me enough to end it if I ask you to, if you love me enough to still love me even if someone else ends it, or if you will still love me if each other is all we have left one day."

"I do love you, Esme," I answered automatically, the words rolling off my tongue effortlessly as though I'd uttered them multiple times before. "I love you enough to do as you wish even if I don't like it, and I'll continue to love you from afar if that happens. I love you, and that won't be changing." I held her gaze captive in mine as I spoke, wanting to make sure she could clearly see the conviction in my eyes as well as hear it in my voice.

"I love you," she whispered back to me, a joyous smile slowly spreading across her face as she took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "So, spend the weekend with me on the island. Say you need to get away – that staying here waiting for her is too much. Call me after you've been there for a day or so alone and tell me how you can't stand to be home, but being alone is worse." She paused for a split second, her voice dropping to a whisper, and she barely brushed her lips over mine causing a shiver to race down my spine. "Tell me that you need me. Then I'll come to you, and convince you to come home with me."

I exhaled slowly and squeezed her fingers, snaking my free arm around her waist and pulling her body flush against mine. It took every iota of my restraint to keep myself from kissing her fully, enjoying the rush of ecstasy that was surging through me like a torrent. "That day before you arrive is going to be agonizing," I replied, my voice a low, husky whisper.

She brought her free hand up and pressed her thumb against the middle of my bottom lip, prompting my jaw to slacken and my mouth to open slightly, as she looked into my eyes. "Then we won't be completely lying, will we? We'll be so far away from each other, where you can't hear even the faintest whisper of my thoughts," she said, sliding her hand down and gripping my chin. "I'll be here waiting, aching for you."

My top lip curled involuntarily at the sudden surge of desire those thoughts invoked, and I pressed the tips of my fingers into the base of her back, holding her firmly against me. "No, I suppose not," I replied with a grin. "The silence is going to be deafening."

She sensually slid one leg up around my waist and ran her hand down from my chin to grip the top of my shoulder. "You can only imagine the things I'll be thinking about you," she said, grinning back and kissing me lightly on the corner of my mouth. "Will you miss being in my mind or my body more?"

My hand glided slowly down her body to grip her thigh, and I turned my head slightly, my lips searching for hers. "And you can only imagine the things I'll be thinking of doing to you until you join me," I murmured. I growled under my breath as I considered my answer. "Now that…is a very difficult question. Can I answer both?"

She kissed me softly several times and, with every touch of her lips against mine, I couldn't stop myself from melting into her, fanning the smoldering burn of my desire into a small flame that had the potential to become a raging inferno. "You can if it's the truth," she whispered back to me. A slight hesitation lazily crept through her mind then as she thought about wanting to make love to me again, feeling somewhat guilty that we kept invading her and Carlisle's space and imagined me taking her to my bed instead. "I think maybe waiting for you to leave will be harder than waiting for us to be together there."

"It's definitely the truth," I replied, inwardly agreeing with her train of thought.

Ever since I stalked into the bathroom after Esme, the presence of Carlisle's scent was a challenge in and of itself to push from my mind, and now she would have to wash the sheets to rid them of my scent as well as come up with a logical excuse for why I had been in the room if Carlisle happens to ask later when he returns home. I shared in her guilt, knowing the position I was putting her in, that I was putting the both of us in, but was able to take a small amount of comfort from the fact that she wanted this, wanted me.

And I wanted her.

I wanted her with a fierce desperation that I had never before experienced.

Keeping a hold of her thigh, I wound my other arm around her and rolled, pulling her with me as I rose swiftly from the bed, holding her firmly against me. "And I agree with you wholeheartedly," I said, breathing those words against her lips as I headed toward my room by memory.

She coiled her body tightly around me as I walked, tangling one hand in my hair as we shared heated, passionate kisses. I could feel her legs shaking with anticipation and excitement from where they were locked around my waist, and a low growl rumbled through my chest as images of me holding her down with our bodies intertwined flowed from her mind directly into mine. I picked up my pace, desperate to make her unspoken desires a reality, and jumped onto my bed, landing solidly on top of her.

I reluctantly broke our mouths apart and looked down into her darkened, lust filled gaze. "You are so wicked, and the worst part is that you know it," I said, lowering my head to dot tender kisses along her shoulder and neck.

She giggled and lifted her hand, pressing the tip of her finger into the center of my chest. "I don't know what you're talking about, Edward Cullen. Me, wicked?" she said innocently, shaking her head and biting down on her lip to prevent the smile that wanted to spread across her lips. "You shouldn't talk to your mother that way, you impudent boy." She smacked my cheek lightly, her thoughts taking on a joking tone.

The corners of my mouth tugged up as I gazed down at her, my golden eyes flashing playfully. "I apologize," I murmured, moving down to slip my tongue into the dip of her belly button then gradually trailing my mouth back up her body, savoring the traces of white jasmine that lingered on her skin.

She breathed in slowly through her nose as she watched me kiss her, bunching one of her hands in the blankets while she reached the other around my back, running one fingertip down my spine, just barely grazing my vertebrae. A tremor raced through me at the soft, sensual contact and I inhaled involuntarily, the sound reminiscent of a gasp, as my mouth finally reached hers. I hovered my lips in front of hers for just a few short seconds before hesitantly brushing our mouths together, keeping my movements teasing, before becoming more passionate.

She sighed against my mouth as she surrendered to my kisses, her lips parting slightly, but didn't move to return the gesture. Her body began quivering as she struggled to refrain from kissing me madly, her thoughts far ahead of our actions.

I chuckled as I read her thoughts, keeping my hands braced against the mattress even though I longed to explore her body. "Your thoughts betray you, Esme," I whispered against her mouth teasingly.

She smiled and shot a sideways glance at my hands. "And you just act on every impulse and fantasy that crosses your mind? There's something to be said for a little anticipation. Not acting immediately and not acting at all are very different things."

I laughed then left another lingering kiss on her lips. "Touché," I responded, winking at her.

"I thought that you enjoyed listening to my fantasies about you," she said, wrapping her arms around me and digging her fingernails into my shoulders. "Besides, you know that I can't control my thoughts about you when you aren't even near me, much less when I'm in your arms."

I grinned at her and nodded. "I do. I could sit and listen to your thoughts for hours without pause." I breathed in slowly through my nose as her hands gripped my shoulders, my eyes sliding shut, and groaned softly on the exhale. "Oh, the things you do to me…"

She raked the nails of one hand down my back in response to my groan and I growled under my breath, grinding our pelvises together. Her hand stopped at the small of my back and she pressed her palm firmly against me to hold us together, cupping my cheek with her free hand. "Do I make you happy?" she asked, carefully studying my face. "Do I make you feel loved?" I could tell those two questions were of great concern to her and even if I was unable to read her thoughts, I would still be able to pick up the worry that was obvious in her voice.

I stared down into her eyes meaningfully and softly stroked her cheek with my thumb. "Even though what I'm feeling for you might be wrong, I couldn't imagine it gets any better than this," I replied, smiling delicately at her. "Of course you make me feel happy and loved." I paused momentarily and kissed her tenderly for emphasis. "I could ask you the same questions."

"Are you asking?"

I nodded once. "I am."

She fell silent and brought her fingers to her lips, her eyebrows furrowing. "I'm sorry. Do I talk too much? Am I spoiling the mood? You should be warned now about this. I do this – talk a lot, about emotions."

My smile widened at her slightly embarrassed state, which I found extremely endearing, and chuckled lowly, shaking my head in reassurance. "No, don't worry about that. I love listening to you talk."

She lowered her gaze for just a moment, smiling coyly, and I imagined that her cheeks would take on a beautiful rosy hue were she human. It was times like these, just simply studying her face and admiring how truly gorgeous she was, that the curse of immortality didn't seem as heavy. But, at the same time, made me lament the small possibility that we could have met in our human lives and found happiness together. That would have been easier, if not a trifle scandalous because of our age difference, and we wouldn't be breaking up two marriages that had been filled with love and loyalty.

_Perhaps, though,_ I thought, _this is Fate's way of finally bringing us together at the perfect time._

"You do," she answered, returning to our previous topic of conversation. "I like how attentive you are. You realize that you have me under the impression that I'm quite important." She reached up and began toying with my hair, her lithe fingers slowly combing through the copper strands. "Maybe that's selfish, but it's very nice."

"That's because you are," I murmured, my eyelids fluttering as her fingers moved through my hair. "I would never make you think something that wasn't true."

My breath caught in my throat when images of us making love suddenly flooded her mind as she watched me and I squeezed my eyes shut as an excited thrill raced through me. "Kiss me again, Edward," she said, her voice low and sultry. "I can't bear the thought of someone coming home before I've had you again. I'll go absolutely mad with need if you make me wait."

I eagerly smashed my lips against hers, just as desperate to be joined with her again, and drew her bottom lip into my mouth, sucking on it gently. "How could I deny you?" I purred, lowering myself over her and sensually stroking the sensitive skin of her inner thighs as I gradually parted her legs.

I wanted so badly to forego all sense of formality and drive into her roughly until her cries of ecstasy shook the very foundation of the house, but I knew in the back of my mind that I couldn't do that. Esme was a treasure and she deserved so much more than that, and even though we could very well be interrupted soon, I wanted to savor the moment. I wanted every touch of her skin against mine, every breathy sigh and moan of pleasure to be branded in my memory.

A shiver raced through her at my touch, her body tensing slightly with anticipation, and her eyes drifted shut as her legs dropped open in surrender, giving me a glorious view of her womanhood. "How do you do that?" she whispered, referring to how I was able to give her so much pleasure when I was barely touching her.

I smirked and continued my soft teasing, making no move to enter her yet and exerting a great deal of self control to keep it that way for just a little while longer. "I am rather good at paying attention."

She smiled, her eyes still shut, and I could tell she was trying to relax so she could enjoy the buildup, but her thoughts were rapidly becoming heated, her body aching for mine. "I've been accused of being sensual, but this is really far beyond anything I've ever felt. I'd say you're more than just attentive. Maybe my constant, wild desire for you plays in your favor though," she said, laughing slightly and opening her eyes to gaze up at me.

I chuckled a small amount as well and locked gazes with her. "That's a distinct possibility. My desire for you is just as wild." I drew my hands away, the scent of her arousal nearly driving me into a frenzy, then slid effortlessly inside her. I groaned deeply at how primed she was and my head lolled back, completely astounded by how powerful the sensations were. It reminded me of our first encounter, but now that I knew what the forbidden fruit tasted like, each bite was so much sweeter than the last.

She gasped when our bodies joined, her arms locking tightly around me, and rocked her hips up to meet mine, urging me with both her mind and her body to keep a slow, gentle pace, something I was more than willing to do. As I began gradually thrusting, her body trembled each time I filled her and she buried her head against my shoulder, whimpering in pleasure.

My eyes slid shut as I listened to her soft vocalizations, the effort of restraining myself from pounding into her relentlessly making a low growl tear up my throat. I immediately lowered my mouth to her neck, kissing and sucking on her skin hungrily. "Esme..." I mumbled, her name escaped from behind my clenched teeth in a deep passion filled whisper.

Her hands fluttered over my skin like the gossamer wings of a butterfly, down the length of my back and curled around my hips. She tipped her head back, causing her silky caramel hair to fan out around her shoulders, and I couldn't help but be momentarily mesmerized by it. "I want you to possess me, Edward. I want to be completely yours," she said, her breathy words interrupted by gasps and sighs.

A shudder coursed through me as her hands caressed my back and my eyes rolled into the back of my head at her words. "You are mine," I answered immediately, my tone turning possessive as my pace picked up and became more desperate. "And I want to be yours. Always."

She moaned softly in response, sliding her hands up my sides to massage my chest while placing firm kisses along my jaw line. "And you are mine," she repeated without a second thought as she wrapped her legs around my waist, her body beginning to tighten around mine.

I brought my hands down to grip her hip bones and drove deeper inside of her, hitting the same spot I remembered discovering the first time we made love, getting closer and closer to my release with every hard thrust. "Amazing. You are amazing."

Her reaction was instantaneous and mind-numbing in its purity. Her sharp cry was filled with surprise and pleasure as her body convulsed with ecstasy, her hands gripping my arms and her face pressed into my shoulder. "Yes, Edward..." she urged, her words barely audible and breathy against my skin.

A deep, primal thrumming reminiscent of a purr began emanating from my chest, her words spurring me on, prompting me to go harder and faster, to do anything to bring her the pleasure I was experiencing. I tried to hold off as long as I could, but the exquisite feel of her body around mine and the erotic intensity of her thoughts sent me sailing over the edge. I slammed our pelvises together one more time and a burst of color exploded behind my eyelids as her passion peaked, forcing a loud growl out of my mouth that echoed through the empty house.

Only a short breath of time passed before Esme lifted her hand and cupped the back of my head, kissing me deeply as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Stay inside of me. Just for a moment," she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. "I don't want to let you go. I feel so empty and incomplete without you now that know what it feels like for us to be joined together."

I bobbed my head slowly as my muscles gradually unlocked and slid my arms beneath her, bringing our bodies closer together. I grinned down at her, in awe of how beautiful she looked in that moment lying beneath me, and placed several tender kisses on her lips. "You are so perfect."

"If I was perfect, we wouldn't be here," she replied, gazing up at me with a soft smile. "I have a question."

Her thoughts began swirling with curiosity about what it was like for me to read her mind while we made love, and I paused for a moment to consider her unspoken question, simply staring down into her eyes as I thought. That was no simple answer. Sharing such a profound level of intimacy with Esme, something I wished I could have experienced with Bella, was something that I had never encountered before and was already becoming addicted to.

"There is no way for me to properly describe it that would do it justice," I answered finally after a long, pregnant silence, bringing a hand up to brush my fingers from her forehead down to her chin. "The euphoria is absolutely phenomenal."

"I'm glad I can give you that," she said, her voice soft. "I'm very used to the idea of you hearing my thoughts, but, at first, I was...nervous about how you might feel about it."

"I've never experienced something so powerful before. It could be compared to a human feeling the addictive effects of a drug, but a thousand times more wild."

She lifted her hands to brace them against my shoulders and pushed her hips up to urge us apart finally, wanting me to hold her before we needed to get up. "You have such beautiful lips. I could be content just watching you talk." Her thoughts shifted slightly and I could tell she wanted to say more, but was feeling unsure.

My eyebrows twitched as I rolled to the side, hearing her uncertainly, and eagerly drew her into my embrace, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder as I rubbed her back soothingly. "What's wrong?"

She settled into my arms and fell silent, running her fingertips across her lips before draping her arm over mine and staring up into my eyes. "I like that you can be certain about my sincerity – that you know, without a doubt, the way you make me feel, the gripping, blinding rapture you give me, the fact that when you touch me, you are my world exclusively and entirely."

One corner of my mouth tugged upwards as I listened to her and brought a hand up to comb my fingers through her silky hair. "That makes me wish you could hear exactly how I feel about you. I could tell you that I love you every minute of every day, but even then that would never be enough." I paused and exhaled slowly, gazing deeply into her eyes. "How did we live together for so long without discovering this sooner?"

"Because we love each other," she answered simply, smiling sadly at me. "And we love Carlisle and since you met Bella, we have loved her too. The moment I opened my eyes after the transformation, I was in love with him. I don't think I knew it as that right away. He was my savior, and part of me will always be bound to him in love and honor. You knew that he and I were in love before we did, I think, before we confessed it anyway; you heard our thoughts, and you wouldn't compromise our happiness, am I right?"

I listened to her intently as she spoke and I once again found myself hypnotized by the sound of her voice and the way her mouth moved as the words rolled off her tongue. I nodded in response to her question and breathed in deeply, holding the air that was laced with her scent in my lungs before exhaling. "Yes," I replied, meeting her eyes. "And my love for Bella will always be there as well. I didn't think the prospect of loving two people at the same time was even possible, but it is."

"You and I are emotional and passionate. I think our kind form strong bonds, when they do happen, for a reason – even we weren't meant to be alone. We're both lonely and trusting of one another; we understand one another and offer something that can't be found somewhere else." She paused for a long moment, her thoughts about our complicated attachment become conflicted and confused. "It's okay if you choose her. I'll be happy as long as you are."

I pressed my lips together as her thoughts filtered into my head, feeling conflicted myself, and knowing deep down that if we had to stay away from one another neither one of us would be happy. "And what if the only way I would be exclusively happy is being with you?" I asked her bluntly.

Her reaction was something I had prepared myself for. She pulled back away from me slightly, suddenly feeling nervous and unsure, and hesitated for a long, tense moment, blinking rapidly several times. I fought to keep my expression stoic, her silence tearing me apart inside and, for a moment, I feared I may have crossed some invisible line with such a bold declaration.

"Are you asking me to choose right now?" she asked, and I could hear the apprehension that was clear in her voice.

"No, I'm not," I reassured her immediately, but still felt uneasy about the whirling vortex her thoughts had become. "You may take all the time you need to decide. I won't pressure you."

She looked away from me, still blinking as a reflex, and I heard it when she came upon the realization that she would eventually have to choose between Carlisle and I, something that frightened her a small amount. "I can't yet. I've spent nearly a century loving Carlisle, never wanting to imagine an existence without him. This past week has been so confusing," she said, her eyebrows furrowing as she brought a hand to her forehead for a brief moment before dropping it and looking at me again. "What if we regret it? If we choose each other, we can't turn back. Could you be with me even if I mourned what I lost with him forever?"

She pulled away from me completely and sat up on the side of the bed, pulling the corner of the blanket up around her shoulders, then buried her face in her hands. I sat up as well and stared at the back of her head for a moment, a crushing guilt settling onto my shoulders for being the cause of the unexpected turn in the atmosphere. But it had been a question I wanted – no, _needed_ – her to hear, something I had to get out in the open before it drove me mad.

I bobbed my head in contemplative thought even though she couldn't see it and rose from the bed, retrieving a pair of sweat pants that were draped over my desk chair and putting them on. I winced as I listened to her thoughts, rubbing my forehead unconsciously as her hunched form began shaking as though she was sobbing though no tears would come, heartbroken over the thought of hurting Carlisle and leaving him alone for eternity.

The weight of her questions added to the already unimaginable burden that seemed to be pressing in on me from all sides, and I couldn't stop from wondering the same thing about Bella. She was the first woman I had ever truly loved, even before I realized the bond that Esme and I shared was more than familial. If I chose to be with Esme for the rest of eternity, would I too mourn for the life that I could have had with Bella? Was I willing to subject both Esme and Bella to such heartache to fulfill my own selfish desires?

"If we should end this... Just say so," I said, breaking the thick silence. "We can't carry on living two lives."

"I can't stand you being angry at me for loving him," she mumbled with her face still pressed into her palms. "Why do I have to choose alone? What about Bella? Are you ready to decide right now?"

"I would never be angry with you for choosing your husband," I responded, then fell silent, feeling a crushing dread over having to make such a monumental decision at that moment. Finally, I answered, "No. No, I'm not."

Esme straightened and looked back at me, tucking the blanket beneath her arms. "I'm sorry. This is hard," she apologized. "Will you spend the weekend with me? I need to know what it's like for us to be alone together...like this. I can't make a choice like that based off of one evening and one afternoon after a week of not speaking to each other."

I met her gaze and a short stretch of silence passed between us as I weighed my decision in my mind. "Yes, I will. I need to know that the advantages outweigh the risks."

She dropped the blanket and stood up slowly, walking over to the closet. I got one last glance at her statuesque form before she grabbed one of my t-shirts and pulled it on. "Do you mind?" she asked, brushing her hair back with her hands.

The ghost of a smile played across my lips and I shook my head, my eyes scanning down the length of her body, admiring how she looked wearing my shirt. "Not at all."

She nodded once. "Either way, I think I have to tell him. Even if it means losing you both."

I worked my jaw back and forth as she spoke. "And I'll need to tell Bella."

I inwardly rejoiced when I heard her make the decision to come over to me in her thoughts a millisecond before she started moving and opened my arms to her, sliding them around her waist once she was in reach. She cupped my face and kissed me softly, a gesture I was more than happy to return, before wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Of course," she replied with an understanding tone to her voice. "I'll always love you. No matter what happens."

"No matter what."


End file.
